People naturally want to look great in the eyes of others. The problem is that we no longer mind that our own eyes are bleeding.
The important thing is that the blood is not visible to other people. So, how does this relate to your idols?
Here’s a simple rule. Those who won this illusory competition that some of us call “life” look great. And other people admire them. That’s what they always wanted. And so they got it. As soon as someone else sees it, he or she wants to live like them as well. They begin to long for the life of these pseudohappy fools.
Even you. You want to be like them. Because they look satisfied. They look fulfilled and grounded. But they surely are not. How could they? They just want to look like they have an amazing life, remember? That was their initiative. This is their primal concern, just like Mozart’s primal concern was music. They quite naturally became professionals in this field.
Thus continuing the vicious circle. The more you look good the more you are respected and admired by others. Who wouldn’t want to be admired, right? So the others want to look great as well. Therefore, they start acting like you do and this pedal of “I want to be like them” rotates the whole vicious circle.
You have to understand that the most seemingly desirable idols (not just the American Idols) are not masters of life, but usually just masters of manipulation. If you actually had the same life as they have, you’d end up miserable.
In other words, be careful with trying to get more from your life, because you may end up with less than you’ve begun with. I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t try at all. Just be you, not them.
Once upon a time, a very interesting man was born in India. His name was Sri Ramana Maharshi. His magnificence lies in his minimalist lifestyle. At the age of 16 he journeyed to the holy mountain called Arunachala and remained there for the rest of his life.
He didn’t need anything to be happy. He mastered life. Yet who would like to be like him? His life looks so boring. No iPhone, no laptop, no internet. Just meditating all day long. And that’s exactly my point.
There’s an important distinction we have to make.
Inside vs Outside
People who want to look amazing are focused on the outside, that’s why their life look amazing. That’s why their “outside” is amazing.
People who are focused on the inside often look awful from the outside perspective, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be truly satisfied. That doesn’t mean their souls have to be as empty as an abandoned house. Their lives look boring to you.
Have you ever seen a TV show or a movie about this kind of life style? I doubt it. No successful producer would tell you that you should make a movie about a man who is sitting the whole day in the same place and meditating. That would be boring. Huge difference. Inside and outside.
The secret lies in seeing through the visible shell of your top idols from movies, news etc. It lies in realizing that they may be internally bleeding. I’m deliberately using the word “realizing” and not “believing”. Because if you just believe in something, you don’t know it. That’s the meaning of this word. “I believe I can fly.” is a great example.
Happiness is not something you can acquire. It is your capability to surrender yourself to this very moment.
To whatever the present contains. It is the ordinary mindfulness. Each day, each moment. Don’t forget that every single moment is perfect for enjoying the moment.
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